In the movie, the main character has a divorce that tears her world apart. For me, it was losing the career I loved, followed by my health declining. At the end of the movie, she talks about how, if you had only taken a step in a different direction, would your life be what it was? In my case, it most certainly would not be the same.
We all have good and bad in our lives. Perhaps your bad is minor, such as the store not stocking your favorite brand of cereal. Even if your bad is REALLY bad, what impact did it have on you and your life?
Having a life that is all good would get old after a while. And what one person declares as good, might be completely different for someone else. Yes, having some angst in our lives helps improve them, as long as it isn’t too overwhelming. What I have learned since my change in life in 2008 has shocked me time and time again. I had been writing for years, but only shared one of my stories with my daughter, Caitlin, several years prior to my sharing my stories publicly. I still cannot tell you why I took that leap in 2012 to start posting my first story. No one in my family (other than Catie) was aware of my writing. It was not until after my first book published that my mom learned what I was doing.
At first, writing was just a way of dealing with the struggles I have endured. What better way to deal with frustration than to take matters out on your characters? Believe me, it can prove enjoyable to take one’s anger and hostility out on the likes of Wickham or Willoughby or Mr Collins or Caroline Bingley, or Lady Catherine. Then, one day, I posted on one of the fan fiction sites. From there, my world changed.
Posting was nice, it gave me the self esteem boost I needed at that time. And that self esteem grew. So I decided to publish my first book. Most people have heard me say that I published it for my family. It is true. I had no notion that my book would sell even one copy. I did it primarily so my daughters, grandchildren, and my mother, could have copies of the book. For it to take off, selling so many copies, was shocking. And it opened so many doors for me. Now I have a blog, post on DarcyandLizzy.com, am part of Austen Authors, have been to a JASNA AGM, and even have a “Darcy” and “Lizzy” in my home (my service dog Darcy and his cat, Lizzy). And I have hundreds of new friends that I never would have met.
Are there any regrets I have in my life? Nothing major. I regret things like not telling my dad I loved him the last morning of his life. I regret my daughter suffering from a man’s unforgivable behavior when she was only 6 & ½ years old. But do I wish that it could be changed? Not really. Yes, I would like to change things that were painful for me and for my family. But then again, I would not be where I am in life. I wouldn’t have taken such leaps of faith and made such drastic changes in my life. And I wouldn’t be here, now, sharing this with you.
One of Garth Brooks’ songs really hits this topic. The song says this: “And now I’m glad I didn’t know, the way it all would end, the way it all would go, Our Lives are better left to chance. I could missed the pain, But I’d have had to miss the dance.”
I am a firm believer that there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. We are meant to be in certain places, at certain times in our lives. Losing my career when I did turned out to be a bit of a blessing and a bit of good timing for me. Thank you all for making the change in my life to become amazing. Here’s to turning negatives to positives, and using what we learn to better our lives and the lives of those around us.