Mr. Collins the Rambling Rector

Mr. Collins the Rambling Rector

Christmas is over, I know, and most of you have probably had enough Christmas music to last you though another eleven months, but I have one last carol with which to test your patience. Forgive me, but the inspiration for this little ditty only came to me over the holiday, and as we are still in the Twelve Days of Christmas sweet zone, I figured it remained appropriate. It’s far from fine literature, but hopefully you will have some fun with it, bringing on a smile to help carry you through these waning days of 2016. Happy Year to all!

Mr. Collins the Rambling Rector

(to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

You know Ferrars and Tilney and Elton and Bertram

Grant and Norris and Wentworth and Morland.

But do you recall the most famous rector of all? 

Mr. Collins the rambling rector

Tended to be quite verbose.

Reading from Fordyce’s Sermons,

you would find him dry as toast.

Matt Smith as Mr. Collins, 2016

All the young ladies at Longbourn

Used to laugh and call him names.

They never wanted to dance with him

Despite his rightful Longbourn claims.

Tom Hollander as Mr. Collins with cast, 2005

Then one foggy autumn eve

Miss Lucas came to say,

“Mr. Collins with your parsonage:

My hand to you I shall pledge.”

Lucy Scott & David Bamber as Mr. & Mrs. Collins, 1995

That’s when Mrs. Bennet lost it

Her nerves as shot as they could be

“That I should be forced to make way for her …

I shall never speak again to Lizzy.”

Alison Steadman as Mrs. Bennet, 1995

13 Responses to Mr. Collins the Rambling Rector

  1. Lucky Lizzy I say!!! I bet she never imagined being grateful to Mr Collins 🙂 Thanks for this Alexa, on your birthday too! I hope you are going to release your NaNoWriMo story as it sounded really good, do you have any news on it for us avid readers?

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