Yes to the Dress
Yesterday was cause for celebration. My in-laws, who I’ve known and loved for 18 years, celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary. Perhaps I’m biased, but I have yet to see another couple so well-suited as they. They truly complement each other in personality, temperament, humor, and taste, and bring a balance and harmony to their union that is sincerely inspirational to everyone in our family.
In the last pages of their wedding album I happened upon a newspaper clipping that featured a picture of my mother-in-law in her wedding gown, as well as written details of her dress, her family, my father-in-law’s family, their occupations, prospects, and future residence. I loved reading it. One part especially, caught my eye, though, and it appeared as follows:
The bride’s gown was Chantilly Lace. She wore a crown of silk illusion, contour style, shirred to a crown of seed pearls and crystals.
Isn’t that absolutely divine? (I wish I thought to scan the photo!) It immediately made me think of romance and (you guessed it) Jane Austen and the differences between our two periods.
In a nutshell, while many modern brides in Western cultures generally choose to wear a white gown (or some variation of white, such as cream or ivory), that wasn’t necessarily the case in Regency England; nor did the trend back then tend toward ordering an especially made gown for a lady’s wedding. Often, a Regency bride would choose to wear a gown already in her possession, and more often than not it was not white. (Are you shocked?)
While contemporary brides usually wear their wedding gown only once—on the day of their nuptials and never again—a Regency bride made sure she’d get more than one wearing out of her gown. She made good use of it on Sundays for church, or for other engagements that might require her to dress more elegantly. In my opinion, it was a very good way to make the most out of a garment that marked such a significant milestone for the lady who wore it.
With this Regency custom in mind, I can promise you that things would have been very different if I had only had the nerve to choose the elegant yellow dress I’d eyed longingly at a small boutique instead of the poofy white gown I was married in (pretty as it was). Now, instead of seeing the light of day, my poor wedding gown hangs at the back of a dark closet, swathed in plastic, never to be worn again except for an occasional princess tea when my daughter was younger. At the ripe age of 8 yrs. she’s already up to my shoulders, so passing it on to her when she marries is not going to be an option. The future, regrettably, looks grim for my poor gown.
Those Regency ladies were certainly on to something. Kudos to them for being so practical. (And shame on me for being so short!)
Best,
Susan
26 Responses to Yes to the Dress
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I think you are on to a great idea in starting a new trend in wedding fashion there. My poor dress is banished to the back of the closet too with no chance of another day to shine.
Your mother in law’s headdress and gown sounds exquisite though I confess to having to look up an example of a chantilly lace dress to check.
Thanks for sharing!
Sophia, my mother-in-laws headress was so pretty, but the gown…it was divine. Layers of Chantilly lace that just make you smile. I’m not a gal big on lace, but if I’d known just how pretty it was, I would have asked her if I could wear it.
Thanks so much!
Your MIL’s dress sounds like a work of art!
I am convinced I will one day find a way to repurpose my wedding dress into something wonderful! (Yet, I am still waiting for the idea to hit me).
That is a great point you bring up. And I am sure buying a dress one could wear again would even be cheaper than a white wedding gown.
Jakki, when Elizabeth celebrated her first communion earlier this year I had grand thoughts of having my gown made into something for her, but it never happened. Like Erlynn’s dress, though, mine was soiled beyond repair. If anyone finds a way to repurpose her brigal gown, I know it will be you, and you’ll come up with something fabulous!
Your post brings back memory. I love my wedding dress–not for the dress itself but for the love that my bestfriend put into it.
I was in grad school and had neither the time nor interest in bridal shopping, and she scoured bridal magazines, picked out the simple unadorned Laura Ashley dress that’s my style, found the store in the next city from where I was living, and had them reserve the dress in my size for me. Then she called me and told me to get my bloody arse to the store that weekend.
It was the only dress I looked at and tried on. And it was perfect.
She did all these from a thousand miles away, while working on a movie set.
Nina, your best friend sounds like a gem. I can feel the love from here! You were very fortunate to have her!
Kudos to you for fitting into your gown years down the line! I don’t think I’d have a hope, I must weigh at least 30lb more
Thank you, Ceri, but I will gladly take 10 of those 30 lbs! Being skinny isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
I loved my dress. I found it online, found out where it was available, realized it was just a couple hundred dollars, and bought it. After the wedding I had it preserved in this gorgeous box with a clear front that allows you to look at it. Somedays I think I wish I could take it out and just look at it. Theoretically, I could wear it out because it’s floor length, no train and a gorgeous deep cream color. However, I don’t go anywhere NEAR fancy enough for that and I weigh 100 pounds less than I did 11 years ago, so I’ll just look at it.
I love the Regency concept though. Why spend ALL THAT MONEY on a dress that you will wear one time and then sock away for eternity? We do it though. Your MIL’s ensemble sounds so beautiful! I love the headpieces they used to wear!
Stephanie, it sounds like you got a wonderful deal! (And I can feel how much you love your dress. Feel free to post a photo, lol – I bet it’s gorgeous!) My dress happened to be on sale and cost a few hundred dollars, too, and it was just what I was looking for. But if you ask if I was in love with it, I’d have to say no. I was heavily in like, but I was on a tight schedule!
Yes, Regency ladies were practical back then. I read from Regency romances that the rich will order a new gown for the wedding and wear it as their Sunday best for church. If I’m correct, Queen Victoria was the first bride to start wearing white on her wedding and the trend grew from there.
Evangeline, I didn’t know that about Queen Victoria. What a trend-setter! Many thanks for the info.
You’re most welcome, Susan. I sure learn a lot from reading all of AuAu posts including yours.
That’s sweet of you, Evangeline. I learn a lot here, too, and I love it. So much of what I learn has already inspired future scenes in future novels. *sigh* So much to write, so little time!
Ugh yes!! I loved my dress! It was the first dress I tried on in the store and I couldn’t picture myself in anything else. At the wedding it got dirty from the garden and ripped from dancing all night, but I still wish I could wear it out to dinner on Friday nights without people looking at me odd.
Erlynn, I love that you found your dream gown so effortlessly, and even though it got dirty and torn, that’s a story in and of itself. It’s a testament to how much you enjoyed yourself on your wedding day – just like every bride should!
Oh my, that description was fantastic! What a lovely homage to your parents-in-law, Susan. It is always a joy and inspiration to hear of long, happily married couples.
I never imagined my daughter wanting to wear my dress. And she could have since her figure is as svelte as mine once was! When she married last year I did consider opening the box my gown is sealed in to perhaps use some of the lace or something. Never got around to it though. It would have been a nice way to make some use of it. I have seen a few clever crafty ideas for one’s wedding gown, such as making pillows or such. I think I need to do that because the box takes up a lot of space in my closet that could be used for something useful. Like shoes.
Thank you, Sharon. Your daughter’s wedding gown was gorgeous, and it suited her beautifully. I think pillows sound like a lovely project. (Are you listening, Jakki?!) I have a fluffy black faux fur coat that I absolutely love. I bought it when I was pregnant with Elizabeth and still wear it today. Elizabeth calls it the “Mommy Coat”. She loved it so much when she was little that I found a tiny version of it in Target, which I bought. I cannot bear to part with it, even though she’s long out grown it. Someday I might make a teddy bear from it for her when she has a baby, but maybe I’m being too ambitious!
Susan,
. Sounds so beautiful!! And many congratulations to your in-laws on their anniversary. How wonderful!
I love this line from your MIL’s gown description: “…a crown of silk illusion”
Marilyn, I loved that description so much I just had to copy it down. I’m thinking of using it someplace in a novel. It’s already inspiring some lovely passages. I’ll pass on your good wishes – thank you!
Your mother-in-law’s gown sounds beautiful. So many people today spend so much on a gown that only gets worn once. I am too practical for that. I mean really, think of all the JAFF books you could have bought with that money.
Lol! Danielle, I love seeing a woman who has her priorities in order! Cheers to you.
Loved your description of the gown and your love for your in-laws as well as your own dress. I’ll never fit in mine again and it’s in one of those boxes. However, we opened it and it has frayed unexpectedly etc. One of my daughters could have worn it but it just didn’t seem right on them. So lately I tried it on my 15 year old granddaughter for the sheer fun of it. She got into it nicely if snugly. So 35 years later I’m still asking “was I really small enough to fit in this dress”? The pics all match but really. I think I need a picture to accurately imagine your mother-in-laws dress.
Suzan, I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you. I’ll have to sneak a photo out of the album and scan it in. The dress was beautiful and she looks so happy.
I love that your grandaughter fit into your dress! What a happy memory you made. (I hope you took pictures!)
This made me smile – particularly with my anniversary coming up in a few weeks. I made my wedding dress along with my Aunt and my mum ( yes Im British!), and they are some of the best memories I have. Back to the point, I chose a pattern very carefully with every intention of altering it after the big day so I could wear it again and again. Guess what, almost 11 years later its still in the back of the wardrobe in a dress cover….. Perhaps your post will inspire me to get sewing! Those ladies definitely had a point, the happy memories you must get when you get to wear your wedding dress again and again…as well as having another great dress to wear
Hillary, seeing your comment here at AuAu made my day! I had no idea your anniversary is coming up (shame on me), but, knowing you, I’m not surprised at all to hear that you and your mom made your gown. 11 years later and it’s still hanging in that closet unaltered, eh? Hmm…I think I might have to harrass you about this until you get to it. I know whatever you do will be beautiful.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us, Hil!