Mourning and Burial Practices in the Regency

 

Pascagoula, MS cemetary

Here was my reasoning: It is October, for one, so we are approaching Halloween. That brings topics of death to mind, whether we like it or not. Secondly, I am leaving in two days to visit my family in Florida and Mississippi. I know this may sound odd to some, but I rarely manage to travel to the deep South where my ancestral roots are firmly embedded, so while there one of my favorite treks is to the ancient graveyard where generations of my relatives are buried. I have always thought old graveyards peaceful, in a way, and replete with fascinating atmosphere. The one where my grandparents and many other Hudsons are laid to rest is very old, with giant oak trees and moldering headstones that have weathered countless hurricanes for over two centuries. I like the connection to family felt as I stroll with my dad and sister through the uneven paths. Anticipating this gave me the idea to delve into a bit of Regency Era, English history on mourning and burial practices.

Jane Austen wrote in 1808: “My Mother is preparing mourning for Mrs E. K. – she has picked her old silk pelisse to peices, & means to have it dyed black for a gown – a very interesting scheme.“

Fashion plates from the Regency include gowns designed specifically for mourning. However, unless you were very wealthy, having new mourning clothing sewn or garments set aside for the occasion was not possible. Most people made due with an existing wardrobe by dying to a dark color, or lining with new material in black. Hats would be covered with black crepe, the bright ribbons or flowers removed. In some cases even that was not an option, the mourner left to adorn their plainest garments with a black ribbon or armband.

La Belle Assemblie mourning dress, 1818

Black was the only acceptable color in the first stages of mourning known as “full mourning.” Cloths with dulled finishes were chosen, such as crepes and bombazine silk. Later, during the second stage referred to as “half mourning”, any darker color was allowable: grays and shades of purples mostly.

Men of the era wore darker colors all of the time, so during mourning little changed other than the switch to black for the cravat and gloves.

How long each mourning period lasted varied and was not set into stone. Death was, sadly, too common an occurrence. Vast amounts of time spent mourning were impossible or people would perpetually be wearing black and unable to attend social functions. Widows tended to remain in a state of mourning for longer, up to a year was the expected norm, but even that was negotiable depending on the situation. Often times a widow, usually for financial reasons, was forced to set aside mourning her dead husband in order to remarry. A widower with children was frequently in the same boat, needing a new wife to be a mother. Men in general were not expected to openly mourn or go into seclusion since they were required to conduct business. Any breaches in the unwritten rules of mourning caused no more then gossip and raised eyebrows.

Ackermann’s mourning dress, 1809

The degree of mourning was directly dependent on the perceived importance of the dead person. Naturally a spouse was considered the closest, so the intensity of public grief and length of full mourning was the longest. Infants were not typically considered as valuable to society, so mourned the least. Immediate relatives – parents or siblings – were given more attention then grandparents, cousins, or friends.

In this era there weren’t funeral parlors or embalming. The body was kept at home, prepared by an undertaker or more likely a servant or woman of the household, encased in a wool shroud, and laid out on a table for mourners to pay respects. How long before burial depended on the weather and available ice. Keeping a deceased body from, well, getting stinky from decay, was an impossible feat that piles of aromatic flowers could not hide. Lasting more than a week was a stretch.

If the person died away from home, transport was necessary, adding to the cost and thus not an easy option unless the family had wealth.

The rich were buried in family tombs or graveyards, or inside church catacombs. If buried in the ground a coffin was used, unless one was poor in which case the enshrouded body was thrown into a common grave. Funeral services were rarely elaborate affairs, unless we are talking about royalty. Mourners gathered to accompany the departed to the gravesite. Women were forbidden to attend due to their “delicate” sensibilities and because they were expected to be in seclusion. Services held at the grave were short and kept to the traditional Anglican liturgy with few onlookers present on what was considered consecrated ground.

I hope I haven’t creeped everyone out. LOL! But then again, it is the season for creepy chills. *insert evil Vincent Price laugh here!

1810 funeral procession, etching by Rowlandson

 

Sharon Lathan

Sharon Lathan is the author of The Darcy Saga sequel series to Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice. Her published novels include: Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy, Loving Mr. Darcy, My Dearest Mr. Darcy, In the Arms of Mr. Darcy, The Trouble With Mr. Darcy, A Darcy Christmas, Miss Darcy Falls in Love, and The Passions of Dr. Darcy.

28 Responses to Mourning and Burial Practices in the Regency

  • blodeuedd says:

    Interesting. But to only wear black…

  • Chelsea says:

    This was interesting, thanks for sharing.

  • Lúthien84 says:

    Thank you for sharing this information, Sharon. I like the fashion plate.

  • C. Allyn Pierson says:

    I would have no trouble with this since most of my clothes are black already!!! I could just put a black top with black pants and jackets instead of my usual pop of color in one of those items. Of course, the wearing of trousers might be a sticking point since I very rarely wear dresses any more (too much stretching and bending in Dermatology- you cannot examine leg ulcers on the back of the leg in a wheelchair bound patient without doing what I call “Dermatology Yoga” poses). :lol:

  • Jane Odiwe says:

    They must have spent an awful lot of time being dressed in mourning – so glad it’s a tradition that’s changed so much.

  • Ella Quinn says:

    Very interesting. I to love old cemetaries.

  • David Wilkin says:

    Have wondered recently about eulogies and services for the departed in the regency. Any information about this?

    • Hi David! Welcome to Austen Authors!

      Eulogies basically did not exist as we know them. Respects were paid to the deceased, with mourners visiting the house and at that time offering condolences as well as remembrances as they wished. Nothing formalized.

      The services at the grave were very brief and very religious. Not long, drawn out affairs with people talking about the departed. In fact, very few people went to the grave itself. Those who accompanied the body in the procession would not enter the cemetery. It was sacred ground not to be trampled upon by numerous feet.

      You would only see a bigger funeral service and formal processionals with royalty, or perhaps someone of significant importance. For instance, the funeral service for Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson was a major event attended by hundreds.

      As time moved on into the Victorian Era, funerals became more lavish with church services and so on. Fancy announcements were made and sent to people far and wide. But in the Regency this was not common and usually a simple obituary placed in the local newspaper was the extent of it.

      Hope that helps! Thanks for stopping by.

  • Gerri Bowen says:

    Interesting post, Sharon. I would guess that before the better roads and trains, relatives who needed to travel a fair distance would not be able to attend the funeral? Loved the photos.

    • Good point. I didn’t specifically look into that, but my guess would be no. Roads in the Regency were actually very good, so travel wasn’t that difficult unless it was the middle of winter. However, it was expensive and not an easy thing by any means. So unless family was already present due to a long illness, being alerted after a death and traveling if it was a great distance would not have been possible when the bodies needed to be buried quickly.

      Thanks for stopping by and for the question!

      The top photo, in case it was not obvious, was taken by me of the cemetery in Mississippi where many of my family are buried.

  • Catherine says:

    Wonderful post.

    Do you know when it became common for women to attend funerals? And also, when the mourners would accompany the coffin to the grave?

    I’ve been fascinated by mourning practices for years, but I have to admit that most of my knowledge is about the clothes and accessories.

    • That is a good question, Catherine. Unfortunately I am not sure of the answer! Too often I halt my research at the Regency, since that is the time period I write in. LOL! So sorry.

  • Jayne says:

    Great post Sharon and very helpful. What about after the burial. Did they have what we call Wake’s ( Refreshments etc and remembering the lost person )?
    Also did all males in tthe family attend the burial or ddi it depend on age ?
    Thanks
    Jayne

    • To my knowledge Wakes are more of an Irish thing. Is that correct? Or is it Scottish? Obviously, this is not an area I am well versed in either! As far as the Regency, there wasn’t typically any kind of after burial ceremony, or pre-burial for that matter. I did read that is was common in certain places to the north of England for the family to provide cakes and other handheld foods to eat as they walked along beside the coffin to the cemetery. But I read nothing that indicated this practice, or any other formal gathering of mourners, was common everywhere.

      • Jayne says:

        Thanks Sharon. What about the males though . I am writing a book with males of 20 ish who lose their father. Would they attand the burial ?

  • Monica P says:

    This doesn’t freak me out at all; I find it really interesting. When I moved to South Carolina (I was 10), one of my favorite things to do was explore the old cemetaries in town. Many of them have headstones dating back to the Revolutionary War and it’s fun to speculate about what the people might’ve been like. Also lots of memorials for babies, which is sad.

    I also find it interesting that women were considered toi delicate to attend the funeral but were responsible for cleaning and preparing the body.

    Thanks for the fashion plates, too! It’s good to have a visual. Have fun on your trip!

    • Someone on one of the Facebook pages commented that this not having women at the graveside was probably more because the men did not want to be around crying women! I think that is a likely possibility. Men never quite know how to handle a woman who is crying. Makes them all freaky! LOL!

  • Sharon, I actually love to visit cemeteries. They’re brimming with history, and the headstones never fail to enthrall me (especially the older ones).

    There’s a little cemetery within a half mile of my house that is locally famous. It’s long been rumored that an apparition named “The White Lady” dwells there. Apparently, she’s shown herself to quite a few, but it’s said she favors firefighters. The prospect of seeing her has been a draw for paranormal enthusiasts for decades. If I was braver, I’d go there after sunset and chance a meeting, too, but, alas, I’m not. You won’t catch me in a grave yard after dark!

    Have a wonderful time with your family. (The live ones and the deceased!) ;)

  • It’s rather ironic that the women of the household would be expected to prepare the body, but then they couldn’t attend the church service because of their delicate sensibilities!

  • Vee says:

    Thanks Sharon this was a very interesting topic! With our family’s European background we follow pretty much the same process when a loved one dies. Black for at least six weeks to one year depending on how close your relative. Then a transition period of wearing darker hues. Of course as new generations emerge, these practises tend to vary.
    I think because we are all so sheltered from death these days it is far more uncomfortable to dwell on. I think if we were all exposed to it more naturally like you mention in your passage. Thats is; keeping your deceased realative at home until burial and seeing this process within your community on a regular basis, would be far more natural. (My parents lived in a little village when they were younger and this was all part of their natural human existence). Of course these days it is not practical or hygenic.
    I did find cemetaries creepy because I wasn’t exposed to death in my younger years. However since the loss of my own son, I can see it as a peaceful resting place for not only my adored son but all the other people that belong to someone.

  • Vee says:

    And on a much more cheerier note have a wonderful and safe trip Sharon xxx

  • Fiz says:

    I am very interested in the conventions of mourning and the way they became hideously perverted by the Victorians. They had jewelled articles called “lacrimals” for holding tears! Princess Victoria, Queen Victoria’s eldest daughter and Crown Princess of Prussia, wrote a letter of protest to her mother at the idea of her very small siblings wearing black for an extremely distant relative. She received a curt letter in return, the Queen insisting that it was only fitting and added that, at three, “Baby looks looks lovely in her black”! (“Baby” was Princess Beatrice).

  • Dolores Torres says:

    I loved you piece. I love history and old graves,old homes and buildings. It was very informational. I thought it very apporate for the season. When are you coming for the hat’s one has pink ribbion only wear once. The other blue ribbion never wore. I paid, fifty dollars for each one to ware for our past event. Oh well.
    Dolores Torres

  • In my new mystery, when one of the deaths occur, the gentleman’s valet has been instructed to treat the body with “mummified” techniques, but the villagers will not permit it.

    Occasionally, the poor “rented” a coffin. The person was carried to the cemetery in the coffin, but removed from the box for burial. I found this a fascinating fact when I did a similar post on burials for EHFA. I also thought it ironic that when body snatchers robbed a grave that they left the man’s clothing behind. It was a crime to steal the clothing. Can you imagine riding around with a naked corpse? LOL!!!

  • This is a great and timely post, Sharon, thank you! The issues of death and mourning are fascinating! :-)

    We used to have wakes in Russia, and Armenia, etc, and I remember going to my grandfather’s grave (in a very old-fashioned traditional graveyard with raised graves, beautiful monuments, etc) and bringing honey as offering, and having a family picnic on his grave after 40 days, then several intervals…

  • Louis Heyse-Moore says:

    Hi Sharon,
    Really interesting post. What about children? Did they come to pay their respects with their parents when the body was laid out at home? Did the boys go with the funeral cortege to the cemetery (including the sons of the deceased)?
    I like the Rowlandson picture of the funeral procession. Do you happen to know where it comes from?

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