How do I love thee?
Watercolor illustration by WC Brock
Of course, Jane Austen has written several outstanding gentlemen in her unfortunately small body of works. Visit the Jane Austen Society of North America Annual General Meeting and you will hear brisk conversations discussing the merits of Henry Tilney versus Edmund Bertram, whether Mr. Knightley will make Emma a good husband or whether their mentor/youth relationship will be a problem when they are instead a married couple, and what about Willoughby? Will he be changed by losing Marianne and then finding out that he might have done just as well (or better) to marry her and be forgiven by his wealthy relative instead of marrying a wealthy shrew for her money and the independence it gave him? Austen has given us 200 years of fodder for lively conversation about her characters and our perceptions of them.
But what about Austen’s eternal hero…Mr. Darcy? Let us take a page from that immortal poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning and “count the ways.”
Naturally, a hero should be attractive, but Austen’s are not always perfect specimens of manhood…except Mr. Darcy. Tall, handsome, well-dressed but not foppish, Austen lets us fill in the details…whether he has Colin Firth’s dark wavy hair and expressive eyes, or Matthew Macfadyen’s straight hair and sad and longing orbs, we can each put together our favorite combination. Darcy is physically the most handsome of her heroes (her antiheroes have more generally good looks- after all those looks are their stock in trade- if the villains all had black hats on we would never fall for them!). But…Ms. Austen has shown us over and over that perfect looks may hide a villain and a less than perfect man may steal a heart with an engaging smile and a reliable character.
Darcy is tall- Bingley even comments on how much more respect Darcy gets because of his height when he comments: “I
Watercolor illustration by WC Brock
assure you, Miss Bennet, that if Darcy were not such a great tall fellow, in comparison with myself, I should not pay him half so much deference.” Tall is always a plus, especially when you want to wear that new high poked bonnet and don’t want to look like you have a head like a pumpkin.
Rich…Mr. Darcy is indeed wealthy; wealthy enough to get the respect of the upper crust of society when it comes to selecting a bride. Ten thousand pounds
a years puts him in the top thousand families in England for wealth. Not too shabby, and certainly there are many women who would accept Darcy for his money and handsome appearance and would accept that one must make some compromises in the marriage game.
All of these details are areas where Mr. Darcy can affect the hearts of women everywhere, but I do not think that these are the characteristics that make Darcy the man of so many women’s dreams…
Watercolor illustrations by WC Brock
No…Mr. Darcy’s most heart-stopping characteristic is that he, a man, is willing to admit he was wrong, out loud, in person, to both Elizabeth and Bingley. And THEN…he changes! All of Austen’s main characters have transformative experiences which make the characters work, but Darcy is her crowning glory. I’m gasping just thinking about it! A man who will admit he is wrong and then change his behavior is a treasure not to be easily put aside.
There you have it…Mr. Darcy’s secret. I guess that is why I am still married to my Mr. Darcy…he is also honest and willing to look at his faults (but I wish I could get him into knee breeches and swallowtail coat!)
What do you think is the secret to Mr. Darcy’s attraction?
C. Allyn Pierson
C. Allyn Pierson is a practicing physician and novelist. She is interested in Regency culture, history and medicine
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20 Responses to How do I love thee?
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Right on all counts, Carey! Darcy is also enigmatic, which draws me in. Even though she didn’t like him, I bet Lizzy spent a lot more time thinking about him than she’d ever admit, for that reason. Especially as a contrast to all the other men in the story.
I don’t know that I’d love the mysteriousness and reservedness as much in a real guy as I do in a fictional one, though.
I agree that his reserve is interesting…but would you ever know what he is thinking?
I believe his reserve lends an air of mystery; thus Elizabeth has such difficulty understanding his character. Being tall, handsome and wealthy are certainly attractive attributes and a Mr. Darcy would certainly “own the room” as soon as he walked in despite his reserve and hauteur.
I think his reserve would have been accepted if he hadn’t opened his mouth and put his foot in it! They would assume he was shy and given him the benefit of the doubt- but once they heard what he was thinking about the people at the assembly, he was toast!
I think it’s the combination of vulnerability, intensity and integrity that makes him so interesting and attractive. That said, Lizzy did not love him until she could respect him.
Hard to resist a man who loves you so much that he is willing to look very hard at himself and how he appears to others. I agree that those three characteristics make him very interesting.
Many people disagree with me about this, but I think that shyness is a component of Darcy’s arrogant appearance in public. I think that he is shy and doesn’t know how to relax and enjoy himself like Bingley does, so he puts on a rigid exterior like armor to keep people from knowing how awkward he feels. I also think that this is one of the reasons he likes Bingley- his friend has everything that he lacks in the way of social skills- he can learn from him as well as finding him comfortable to be around because of his easy and relaxed demeanour.
I agree – this is exactly how I would describe it.
I agree totally. I always think back to when I was in high school and someone told me they thought I was a snob but then they’d discovered I was actually shy. I feel a lot of empathy with Darcy.
I totally agree on all counts. Carey and the other commentors have so eloquently stated your points that I have none to add.
I think Darcy was not seen to advantage in his first appearance at Netherfield because it was so soon after the Wickham/Georgiana complications. He was upset and not inclined to assume the best of any new acquaintances, since his father’s opinion of Wickham had been proven so far off the mark. Bingley’s comments to Darcy seem to indicate that Darcy’s behaviour is not typical of him.
I think aside from his willingness to change a huge point in Darcy’s favour is that although he says he has a resentful temper he actually completely forgives Lizzy for the manner of her refusal and takes all the blame on himself. How many people would have? He seems very loyal too, which is another attractive characteristic. I definitely agree that shyness can come over as arrogance although we must be honest and say that he is also arrogant until Lizzy takes him down a peg!
Very true- his “resentful” temper may be more from the circumstances with Wickham and his sister than a true characterization of his personality.
I love Mr. Darcy because he’s tall, dark, handsome, rich, and– in the words of the woman I most want in my home, Mrs. Reynolds–he doesn’t prattle on like other silly young men.
Swallowtail coat? Shoot, I’d be glad if I could just get my Mr. Darcy to have his hair cut. Of course, the fictional Mr. Darcy’s house, fortune and handsome person are attractions, but I think I like best his intelligence. “Bingley was not deficient, but Darcy was clever.”
For me, the most attractive characteristic is his steadfastness in his love of Elizabeth. Although he fights it initially, the reality is that he never let go of it even given the obstacles it faced. Also, that he loved so deeply that he wanted her to be part of his life despite his rational self arguing against it and all the obstacles that came up.
Carey, I have to agree with Kat. Darcy’s steadfastness and devotion to Elizabeth and his appreciation for the woman she is has always been a draw for me. He was willing to throw off convention and marry her despite what his family would say. It’s a pity he never counted on what the lady would say!
That he reflects on her chastisement and actually applies himself to become a man worthy of her, despite the unlikelihood they would ever meet again, speaks volumes as well; as does his determination to right his past wrongs and save her most undeserving sister from scandal once she elopes with Wickham. The fact that he was willing to swallow his pride and deal with his former friend, a man who’d harmed and wronged him, in order to bring some degree of comfort and preservation to Elizabeth is something that will always make me swoon.
But let’s not forget how dashing he looks in deerskin breeches and his green coat!
Great analysis, Carey! I think in addition to Darcy’s willingness to grow and change, I like his sense of honor. He tries to do the right thing every time. In the beginning, he’s a bit misguided at times but finally gets it right.
I think you’ve so eloquently said it all, Carey! It’s the fact that he realises his mistakes that makes him so lovable.
I always favored Darcy because he saw Elizabeth’s faults but did not turn from her because of them. He appreciated a woman with a brain and a sense of independence.