I had a post about the dental care (seriously) during Jane Austen time, but as I read it over, I realize I couldn’t do it—inflict on you readers on a Monday dental history horrors, not when I’m going to get a root canal myself this week.
So, as always, when I’m in pain, I arm myself with the best cure there is—Mr. Darcy!
I’m going to recycle one of my favorite blogposts from my blogtour—where I answered a bloghost’s questions: ‘What is it about Mr. Darcy? Why has this iconic literary hero captured the attentions of generations of women in a way no other literary hero has, save Dracula?
(I’ll save my dental care blog for another day for when I can muster a sense of humor about root canal)
Bennton’s Top-Ten of What is it about Mr. Darcy?
Number 10: Teeth. Unlike Dracula, the other iconic literary man who’s captured generations of women’s attention, Mr. Darcy’s canine teeth are harmless. One could safely sleep beside Mr. Darcy from sundown to sunup and have no fear of being struck by immortality and forever frightening little children. Plus, think of the household money you’d save on teeth-whitening products.
Number 9: Duds. Mr. Darcy’s got some cool duds. Okay, I admit the Seinfeld-poofy-white-shirt, and the frilly, snowy neckclothes are a tad overdone, but how could any woman resist a man in gleaming Hessians, exquisitely fitted topcoat, and a pair of buff-colored buckskin breeches?
Number 8: Connections. Mr. Darcy’s got some great connections. He’s the grandson and nephew of an earl. Yet, he’s untitled, which makes it even so much better. You get the benefits of being in high society—without having to call your husband ‘my lord.’
Number 7: Mother-in-law. He’s an orphan. No mother-in-law to worry about. You’ll always get to be the queen bee on Mother’s Day.
Number 6: Friends. He has loyal friends who’ll let him be the alpha dog. Darcy’s best friend Charles Bingley and cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam will always be less confident and poorer than Darcy. Trust me, the cavewomen were right: you always want your man to be the alpha dog.
Number 5: Other women. Junior high girls have it figured out. A boy’s attractiveness increases proportionally on how many other bitchy girls ‘really, really like’ him. Mr. Darcy has other women—bitchy, rich, skinny women like Caroline Bingley—lusting after him. And he didn’t succumb. Didn’t even cast them a pity glance. You’ll always be his dearest, loveliest… even if your figure’s a bit asymmetrical.
Number 4: Children. Mr. Darcy’s a proven, tested father-figure material. He’s been a guardian to his young orphaned sister for years now. And he had a near-miss when his sister almost eloped with a cad, so not only will our Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy forever be a vigilant father tending to the flock, he’s quite humbled at how hard parenting is.
Number 3: Servants. In particular, Pemberley’s housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds. Elizabeth Bennet may have fallen in love with him when she saw the grounds of Pemberley, but the cold fact is women fall in love with Pemberley because of his housekeeper. Besides that it speaks very well of a man when his servants adore him, what woman wouldn’t want to be mistress to a house with a built-in, motherly housekeeper? She’ll do the hard work while all you have to do is to approve of menus. And you know Mrs. Reynolds would tell you if there’s a mad wife in the attic!
Number 2: Accent. So cool, so concise, so clipped. That British accent (so much better than a Transvylvania accent) sends shivers down a gal’s spine. That accent tells you he’s got what’s known as British phlegm—that famous British reserve of stubborn endurance. And you want a man who can stubbornly endure anything… especially if your mother bore a resemblance to Mrs. Bennet.
Number 1: Transformation. Unlike Dracula and his descendants, who might sparkle and glitter and transform you, Mr. Darcy’s willing to transform himself. To a better, more improved version. All before marriage.
A man who’s willing to admit he’s been a selfish-being all his life…until you showed him how insufficient were all his pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased. (Chapter 16, Pride and Prejudice).
You know this man has learned the important lesson about what’s important in life.
He’s already gone through his navel-contemplation period (before the wedding!). So that middle-age-crisis all sexy, repressed Regency males go through?
Not going to happen.
No third trophy-wife in his future. No impulse-purchase of an arrest-me-red high phaeton at fifty. No growing his hair a la Georgian mullet to hide his bald spot.
How could you resist Mr. Darcy?
I couldn’t. I’m compulsive about Mr. Darcy. I even wrote a novel about it called ‘Compulsively Mr. Darcy!’
Shoot me some novocaine, how about distract me from dental pain with your top three list why a Jane Austen hero is your man! (Darcy, Brandon, Wentworth, Tilney, Knightley…)