Vera Nazarian
The Literary Men of Jane Austen
Vera Nazarian
February, the month of love and romance is not over, and Love still lingers in the air like a hint of delightful exotic perfume…
Ripe peaches and heady acacia, sweet honeysuckle, lily-of-the-valley, and the heavenly rose…
Yes, Love with a capital “L” — because this is how the great philosophical abstractions were written in the 18th century and earlier, giving moral, intellectual, and emotional emphasis to Love, Hope, Faith, the Charities, Fortitude, Pride, Ambition, and a myriad other concepts that in our modern era we hardly ever capitalize unless we want to wax nostalgic, or poke somewhat wicked, cynical fun at them (because, you know, we are just way too cool to be earnest).
In Cobweb Bride, my new major semi-historical epic fantasy novel coming in July 2013, I explore Love and all its complex permutations, with abandon.
In the absence of Death,
In the presence of Death,
Only one thing remains,
It is Love.
This is the preamble to the novel, and it gives a hint of what’s to come….
But, besides having an old-fashioned flavor of history, with a rich epic cast of characters (can you say, George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones?), what exactly does it have to do with Jane Austen, you say?
Without giving away the several intertwined stories of the many lovers in Cobweb Bride, I can tell you this—it explores Love in all its plurality of ways.
In a world where death has ceased to be, a world suspended—what is there, but Love? It is a thing simultaneously altogether impossible, common-sense practical, satirical, earnest, gothic-romantic, and profound…
Oh and yes, just like Austen, Cobweb Bride has several interesting, romantic, and very intense men! (Wait till you read about Lord Beltain Chidair, the mysterious black knight who roams the forests near Death’s Keep, by order of his undead father, and hunts young maidens who attempt to pass!)
And talking about Love and the men of Austen, we come to the heart (pardon the pun) of the matter. I am going to talk about four distinct categories of Austen men here. So, let’s get to it. Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
January, Jane, Deadlines, and Tea!
What does a person do when they’ve forgotten their regular blog date? Why, they panic! And then they explain themselves properly to the oh-so-patient gentle reader! So, where has my mind gone, you might wonder?
Here’s my excuse…
As many of you know, I am a fantasy and science fiction author in addition to being an Austen Author. And in October of 2012 I’ve held a Kickstarter to help me raise funds to finish a brand new fantasy novel, my first major work in a decade, and the first book of a trilogy.
The book is Cobweb Bride (Book One of Death’s Cobwebs, to be followed by Book Two, Cobweb Empire, and Book Three, Cobweb Forest), an epic fantasy, history-flavored and with a large cast of characters–an intricate story with romantic elements of the Persephone myth, about Death’s ultimatum to the world.
In an alternate Renaissance world, somewhere in an imaginary “pocket” of Europe called the Kingdom of Lethe, Death comes, in the form of a grim Spaniard, to claim his Bride. Until she is found, in a single time-stopping moment all dying stops. There is no relief for the mortally wounded and the terminally ill….
While kings and emperors send expeditions to search for a suitable Bride for Death, armies of the undead wage an endless war… A black knight roams the forest at the command of his undead father… Spies and political treacheries abound at the imperial Silver Court…. Murdered lovers find themselves locked in the realm of the living… Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
Pagan Persuasion: All Olympus Descends on Regency — Coming Soon!
Vera Nazarian
Yes, folks, this is supposed to be a launch post… but once again life intervened and there will be a couple of weeks delay in the release of my latest hilarious Jane Austen parody, Pagan Persuasion: All Olympus Descends on Regency.
My excuses?
For one thing, just an overload of things to do. And when I say overload, I mean it’s three books due at once, and real life stuff interfering big time with publishing.
On major thing is, I will have to be looking for another home soon, due to unforeseen circumstances, and owners having to sell the home I am currently renting. So, yup, moving awaits me in the months following.
The good thing this time, is that the move will be a relatively easy and local one, somewhere in Vermont, and not another Unexpected Journey (to quote THE HOBBIT) like that epic cross-country move from California to Vermont in 2011 (chronicled in all its harrowing detail here, a recommended read for any horror fan!).
However, fear not! 
The book is coming very soon (aiming for late December 2012 actual release), and it promises to be just as hilarious as my other previous books in the Supernatural Jane Austen Series.
Just think — you get to read about Captain Wentworth and Anne Elliot, a battle of Ancient Greek Gods, magical mermaids, Pandora’s Snuff Box, Aphrodite’s magic love girdle, Apollo’s many mirrored altars in the home of Sir Walter Elliot, Poseidon’s tizzy, Athena’s ‘tude, satyrs, nymphs, Bath Regency society, sneaky heroes and demi-gods, sexy naval officers, ambrosia vs. clotted cream, and yes, the infamous Brighton Duck!
Here is the cover image to whet your appetite! And scroll down below the cover to read a short and funny excerpt!
Pagan Persuasion: All Olympus Descends on Regency
Excerpt from the book:
Chapter 1
| S |
ing, O bright goddess, a paean to the resentment of Poseidon, god of the salty seas, and the annoyance of Athena, clear-eyed goddess of war and wisdom. The resentment and annoyance were the result of an altogether uncivil unwillingness, on both godly sides, to hold amiable discourse over something as negligible as the patronage of one puny mortal city on the rocky shores of the Aegean. . . .
When asked to choose their divine protector, the citizens preferred Athena’s gift of an olive tree to Poseidon’s gift of a saltwater spring (seriously, what was Poseidon thinking? even seaweed salad would have made a better impression), and cast their votes accordingly.
Naturally, the charming and delightful goddess Athena won. Everyone got olives and the city was named Athens. Meanwhile, Poseidon departed in a fit of pique, muttering to himself, and striking random rock formations along the shore of the Aegean—bringing forth yet more salty fountains and puddles and random items of dubious value, and at some point causing a pair of magnificent horses to spring forth and gallop away into the hills. But since no one from the city remained to witness this far more useful miracle, the creation of horses went uncredited and unappreciated. As a result, Poseidon was decidedly not amused. And he remained thus, not amused, for decades, for generations, for thousands of years, taking out his displeasure on occasional schools of fish and frequent schools of mortals of Hellenistic background swimming around in triremes, including the clever hero Odysseus and the entire Achaean invading fleet at Troy.
Athena in turn was very displeased with Poseidon’s reaction (tedious water shortages in her city, frogs and tadpoles everywhere, moss on marble, moaning sounds coming from deep wells to scare away the good matrons, soup taking forever to boil), and hence all things pertaining to salty liquids and large bodies of water. And thus the goddess made a point of doling out persuasive barbs of wisdom, sarcasm, and subtle advice against Poseidon and everything of a nautical nature, to everyone she took under her aegis—literally and figuratively.
This discord went on and on (and on, and on, and on), god and goddess disparaging each other, fish scales and owl feathers flying. One would think that after about three thousand years the two deities would be divinely sick of holding a grudge, but no. . . . It only grew, taking on the force of legend, and turning into a poetic nonsense of epic proportions, which consequently bound many gods and mortals together unto the ages, via dactylic hexameter.
But, gentle reader, we are getting somewhat ahead of ourselves…
Read the rest of the excerpt here! (Complete First Chapter!)
Enjoy! (Go read…) And then come back right here!
.. . .
Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars
Okay.. And now, I just want to quickly mention another book of mine that has just come out, in time for the holidays. This one is not Jane Austen related, but I think many of you will really get a kick out of it.
All right… are you sick of vampires (especially sparkly ones) and werewolves? Want to have a big laugh? Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love is chock-full of supernatural love and relationship advice, and has an answer to all your paranormal sexy hunk questions!
Take the supernatural compatibility test to discover your soul planet and your dream lover!
The book is available in trade paperback and Kindle ebook editions, and makes a fabulous gag gift for that lover of paranormal romance in your life, or ahem… you!
And now, I wish you Happy Holidays and a wonderful Happy New Year!
And guess what? Tomorrow, we will still all be here, no end-of-the-world, only the end of the Long Count! It’s just an exciting start of a brand new Mayan Calendar! Hooray! Happy New Baktun!
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
P&P200: Mr. & Mrs. Bennet Share a Moment While Their Daughters Dress for the Wedding
With the moment of the wedding approaching, and the two eldest Bennet daughters getting ready upstairs, the household was in a joyful uproar. Mrs. Bennet spent her time wringing her hands, rushing up and down the stairs, pointing out bits of lace, jewelry, and attire to the maids who assisted the brides, and directing Mrs. Hill and the other servants to “make haste, make haste!” in setting the table for the wedding breakfast that was to take place soon afterwards. She then stood fussing over every tiny detail, commenting on the servants’ performance, the condition of the plates and cutlery, and the setting out of fine spotless glasses—until Mr. Bennet gently took her aside, and they sat down together “to catch a breath” in the nearby parlor.
“Oh, Mr. Bennet! I am expiring! I am departed! How I shall be driven to distraction! And they are not even wed yet!” his wife exclaimed, collapsing on the sofa, but continuing to fidget with nervous energy. She was worrying her handkerchief, the same one that she had managed to carry with her everywhere these past few days—not unlike a small pug, it occurred to Mr. Bennet with amusement—and it was apparent the bit of muslin was soon to be in tatters.
“Now, now, my dear; no need to be driven to anything, at least not yet—not until a quarter of an hour. At that point the wedding carriages will be doing the driving, and you will be spared that odious duty normally given to horses or conveyances.”
“Oh! You make jest now, Mr. Bennet, how can you! Our two eldest are about to be married to the finest gentlemen in the realm! How can you sit so calmly now?”
“My dear, if you prefer, I shall stand or march in place. But I do not believe it will make any difference for my own peace of mind.”
“Stand, sit, gallop—do whatever you like, Mr. Bennet! Our daughters are getting married to ten and five thousand a year!” Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
P&P200: Mr. Bennet, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Gardiner, and Mr. Bingley Share a Brandy
After the splendid meal was over, the gentlemen retired to Mr. Bennet’s library for some soothing peace and after-dinner brandy, leaving the ladies to laugh and exclaim and fuss over tomorrow’s double nuptials.
Mr. Bennet, who under normal circumstances hardly ever allowed anyone to breach the comfort of his personal retreat and literary sanctuary, welcomed his two future sons-in-law and Mr. Gardner with a pleasure unprecedented—even if he only revealed the extent of it by the appearance of a wily and infinitesimal smile when no one was looking directly at him. Mr. Bennet simply could not help himself.
Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley availed themselves of additional comfortable chairs that had to be brought into the room, since the small chaise longue was permanently covered with casual piles of opened books. Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet gave up his own favorite reading chair to accommodate Mr. Gardiner. He himself remained standing before the window, refusing a seat and decidedly too excited to stay in one spot. He soon occupied himself by choosing his finest decanter and glasses and personally pouring brandy for everyone.
“You have a handsome library indeed, Mr. Bennet,” said Darcy, receiving his glass. “It is apparent where your two eldest daughters have acquired their love of erudition.” Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
Halloween Hilarity with Jane Austen
Pumpkin by Machvala
Here in Vermont, I am fortunate to be experiencing a ruddy true autumn, with the world turned to gold, yellow, orange, flame red and deep crimson, with maple leaves whirling down, geese flying south, crisp winds, and a promise of even colder weather to come—the full array of New England fall colors similar to what Jane Austen herself probably saw in her own native England at this time of the year.
It can mean only one thing… Halloween is around the corner!
Yes indeed! I can hear it now, approaching with a howl and a moan and a creeping, dark shadow-chill, and an orange pumpkin with big, grinning jaws of fire!
What could be more perfect now than to give you a little taste of supernatural Jane Austen?
Here are three very short excerpts to put you in the Halloween mood, to raise delicious chills along your spine, and then to make you howl… with laughter!
In the first excerpt, from Mansfield Park and Mummies, you are treated to Lady Bertram, under the influence of an unfortunate Curse, and secreted away in the attic, as she tries to raise an Ancient Egyptian Mummy from the dead… Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
Winner Announcement! – Supernatural Jane Austen Series Quiz and Giveaway!
The winner of the Supernatural Jane Austen Series Quiz and Giveaway hosted by Austen Authors is…
*drumroll*
Monica P! – You get a copy of Pride and Platypus!
Congratulations!
Please email me with your mailing address ASAP to get your prize!
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
Supernatural Jane Austen Series Quiz and Giveaway!
How well do you know the Supernatural Jane Austen Series? Here’s your chance to show off your SJA mojo!
Take the fun and exciting quiz, and post your answers in the comments section below (Example: 1B, 2D, 3B, etc.), by the deadline of October 5, 2012—the person who gets the most answers correct, wins a gorgeous autographed and gold seal-embossed trade paperback copy of Pride and Platypus: Mr. Darcy’s Dreadful Secret!
(In case of multiple winners or a tie, the winner will be selected via random.org.)
But before we begin, I declare September “fun, contests, and games month,” and I want to remind everyone that you have two more chances to win my books!
After you take this quiz here at Austen Authors, be sure to visit the Dark Jane Austen Book Club blog entry Ancient Pharaoh or Sexy Regency Gentleman – He’s the Mummy! to enter the giveaway for a chance to win an autographed and gold seal embossed trade paperback copy of their September Featured Selection Mansfield Park and Mummies.
And then, drop by my blog Urban Girl Takes Vermont and enter the Hilarious Fake Regency Blurbs Contest for a chance to win another trade paperback copy of Pride and Platypus!
But hurry, these two contests end at midnight on the last day of September!
And now . . . on to our quiz! Good luck! Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
Of Mothers, Mermaids, and Jane Austen
This month, on August 19th, my mother turned eighty.
It’s an amazing milestone for anyone, but this woman has survived so many things….
Back in Crimea, Russia, during World War II, as a little nine-year-old girl, she and my grandmother evacuated and ran from the invading Nazi Germans all through middle Asia, not once but twice.
Crimea was repeatedly occupied by the invading German forces, and they could not return home and had to live on the road. They were semi-homeless for several years of the war, riding cargo trains packed with refugees, eating stale chunks of ration bread, getting sick with dysentery from starvation and rotten melons, sitting on the streets of strange towns on top of small bundles of all their earthly possessions, huddled and covered in blankets while Nazi airplanes bombed from overhead and bodies lay all around. Once they were even transported via battleship in the Black Sea, which was firing Katushas at the shore and the Germans there, and they had to sit on the deck right underneath the guns, and plug their ears! Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
Austen on my Mind
Having major surgery and the long healing process afterward is definitely taking up most of my time — and most of July was a whirlwind of comic invalid helplessness, and was spent in the hospital. Now, my abdominal wound is healing pretty well and I have homecare nurses come in every day to re-pack the dressing. And so of course, naturally, I am functioning at semi-capacity, and am not allowed to lift or pick up anything over 10 pounds (in other words I am somewhat screwed… since I cannot lug big heavy books around or rummage in boxes filled with books, or toss books like dwarfs… among other things that normal non-writerly convalescent people in my place cannot be expected to do).
You might wonder what this has to do with Jane Austen, and I can safely tell you — or better yet, paraphrase Diana Birchall’s recent quote in her recent wonderful Jane Austen in Alaska blog entry that “pretty much anything can be connected to Austen.” In my case, let me tell you about a couple of things that happened, directly related to our favorite Jane.
About a week ago I had a follow-up appointment to go see my surgeon. He had been gone on vacation the week before, so I had to see other doctors in the interim. But at last, here he was, back, ready to see the progress of my wound for the first time, and I went in for a check-up of my sutures and open wound.
At this point, let it be noted, I carried a certain book with me.
Before surgery, there had been the usual bittersweet discussion that, as a result of the hysterectomy, I will no longer be able to have children. I told the surgeon that yes, I understood, but fortunately I did have my books instead — my books are my kids. I don’t know how much of that he remembered… Continue reading
Vera Nazarian
VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Nominee, award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer and reader with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.
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