Yes, folks, this is supposed to be a launch post… but once again life intervened and there will be a couple of weeks delay in the release of my latest hilarious Jane Austen parody, Pagan Persuasion: All Olympus Descends on Regency.
For one thing, just an overload of things to do. And when I say overload, I mean it’s three books due at once, and real life stuff interfering big time with publishing.
On major thing is, I will have to be looking for another home soon, due to unforeseen circumstances, and owners having to sell the home I am currently renting. So, yup, moving awaits me in the months following.
The good thing this time, is that the move will be a relatively easy and local one, somewhere in Vermont, and not another Unexpected Journey (to quote THE HOBBIT) like that epic cross-country move from California to Vermont in 2011 (chronicled in all its harrowing detail here, a recommended read for any horror fan!).
However, fear not! The book is coming very soon (aiming for late December 2012 actual release), and it promises to be just as hilarious as my other previous books in the Supernatural Jane Austen Series.
Just think — you get to read about Captain Wentworth and Anne Elliot, a battle of Ancient Greek Gods, magical mermaids, Pandora’s Snuff Box, Aphrodite’s magic love girdle, Apollo’s many mirrored altars in the home of Sir Walter Elliot, Poseidon’s tizzy, Athena’s ‘tude, satyrs, nymphs, Bath Regency society, sneaky heroes and demi-gods, sexy naval officers, ambrosia vs. clotted cream, and yes, the infamous Brighton Duck!
Here is the cover image to whet your appetite! And scroll down below the cover to read a short and funny excerpt!
Excerpt from the book:
ing, O bright goddess, a paean to the resentment of Poseidon, god of the salty seas, and the annoyance of Athena, clear-eyed goddess of war and wisdom. The resentment and annoyance were the result of an altogether uncivil unwillingness, on both godly sides, to hold amiable discourse over something as negligible as the patronage of one puny mortal city on the rocky shores of the Aegean. . . .
When asked to choose their divine protector, the citizens preferred Athena’s gift of an olive tree to Poseidon’s gift of a saltwater spring (seriously, what was Poseidon thinking? even seaweed salad would have made a better impression), and cast their votes accordingly.
Naturally, the charming and delightful goddess Athena won. Everyone got olives and the city was named Athens. Meanwhile, Poseidon departed in a fit of pique, muttering to himself, and striking random rock formations along the shore of the Aegean—bringing forth yet more salty fountains and puddles and random items of dubious value, and at some point causing a pair of magnificent horses to spring forth and gallop away into the hills. But since no one from the city remained to witness this far more useful miracle, the creation of horses went uncredited and unappreciated. As a result, Poseidon was decidedly not amused. And he remained thus, not amused, for decades, for generations, for thousands of years, taking out his displeasure on occasional schools of fish and frequent schools of mortals of Hellenistic background swimming around in triremes, including the clever hero Odysseus and the entire Achaean invading fleet at Troy.
Athena in turn was very displeased with Poseidon’s reaction (tedious water shortages in her city, frogs and tadpoles everywhere, moss on marble, moaning sounds coming from deep wells to scare away the good matrons, soup taking forever to boil), and hence all things pertaining to salty liquids and large bodies of water. And thus the goddess made a point of doling out persuasive barbs of wisdom, sarcasm, and subtle advice against Poseidon and everything of a nautical nature, to everyone she took under her aegis—literally and figuratively.
This discord went on and on (and on, and on, and on), god and goddess disparaging each other, fish scales and owl feathers flying. One would think that after about three thousand years the two deities would be divinely sick of holding a grudge, but no. . . . It only grew, taking on the force of legend, and turning into a poetic nonsense of epic proportions, which consequently bound many gods and mortals together unto the ages, via dactylic hexameter.
But, gentle reader, we are getting somewhat ahead of ourselves…
Enjoy! (Go read…) And then come back right here!
.. . .
Okay.. And now, I just want to quickly mention another book of mine that has just come out, in time for the holidays. This one is not Jane Austen related, but I think many of you will really get a kick out of it.
All right… are you sick of vampires (especially sparkly ones) and werewolves? Want to have a big laugh? Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love is chock-full of supernatural love and relationship advice, and has an answer to all your paranormal sexy hunk questions!
Take the supernatural compatibility test to discover your soul planet and your dream lover!
The book is available in trade paperback and Kindle ebook editions, and makes a fabulous gag gift for that lover of paranormal romance in your life, or ahem… you!
And now, I wish you Happy Holidays and a wonderful Happy New Year!
And guess what? Tomorrow, we will still all be here, no end-of-the-world, only the end of the Long Count! It’s just an exciting start of a brand new Mayan Calendar! Hooray! Happy New Baktun!
With October in full force, and autumn thrills and chills in the air, all of us here at Austen Authors are pulling out our comfy blankets, pouring large mugs of hot tea, coffee, or cocoa, and beginning to move our laptops and other writing implements closer to the fire… (in California, of course, we might use electric flame logs, and close the windows to keep out the burning Santa Anas, but we can still dream of fall colors and falling leaves).
Here in Vermont, I am fortunate to be experiencing a ruddy true autumn, with the world turned to gold, yellow, orange, flame red and deep crimson, with maple leaves whirling down, geese flying south, crisp winds, and a promise of even colder weather to come—the full array of New England fall colors similar to what Jane Austen herself probably saw in her own native England at this time of the year.
It can mean only one thing… Halloween is around the corner!
Yes indeed! I can hear it now, approaching with a howl and a moan and a creeping, dark shadow-chill, and an orange pumpkin with big, grinning jaws of fire!
What could be more perfect now than to give you a little taste of supernatural Jane Austen?
Here are three very short excerpts to put you in the Halloween mood, to raise delicious chills along your spine, and then to make you howl… with laughter!
In the first excerpt, from Mansfield Park and Mummies, you are treated to Lady Bertram, under the influence of an unfortunate Curse, and secreted away in the attic, as she tries to raise an Ancient Egyptian Mummy from the dead… Continue reading