A Letter to Jane Austen

A Letter to Jane Austen

Spring ismr-darcy_2 officially here and it has been raining incessantly lately. This of course makes me feel the need for something lighthearted and preferably funny.

 Thinking you might also be feeling the need for some positive juju, I thought I’d share this letter I wrote to Jane Austen with you. It was shared on another blog a while ago, so if it seems familiar, that’s probably why. Hopefully, it’s new for most of you.

 

 

A letter to Jane Austen

Dear Jane,

You don’t mind if I call you Jane, do you? Good. Feel free to call me Elizabeth. Or Liz if you prefer. Now, we need to talk.

Are you aware of the craze you incited when you wrote a certain character by the name of Mr. Darcy? Do you know how many women spend their free time dreaming of him, imagining meeting him, and reading about him? No? Well, I should tell you that it’s gotten a little out of hand.

Mr. Darcy has become the one romantic hero almost all women can agree on. He is the ideal other men are compared to and the fantasy no one can live up to. What were you thinking? Sure, he’s smart and cultured. Everybody loves a smart guy. But then you had to go and make him loyal and strong and steadfast. As if that weren’t enough, he’s also incredibly handsome and he’s tall. Did you know I’ve always had a thing for tall guys?

Add to all of that his fancy house in town and a gorgeous, magical, un-mortgaged estate in the country. Were you trying to drive everyone crazy? To taunt us with the perfect guy that will never really exist?Colin-Firth-Mr-Darcy-Pride-and-Prejudice

Just to show he’s not too perfect, you make him rude and insulting when we first meet him, but still loyal and brave. While this may seem like a flaw, it is actually an ingenious ploy designed to show us just how great he is. Because as soon as the woman he loves points out his faults, he gets mad (proving he’s hot blooded – which just makes him more attractive) and then he gets reasonable. He learns from the past and from her and becomes worthy of her. Did you hear that, Jane? A man, who has everything going for him and women falling all over him, changes his behavior to make himself worthy of a woman. A woman who, by the way, is considered undeserving of him by society at large and who has rejected him vehemently. He has no guarantee he’ll ever even see her again. Really? Really?

Then, this great catch turned all-around great guy, delivers the grandest of grand gestures and we go from serious like to all out love. What were you trying to accomplish here? Was there a ‘create the perfect man’ contest? (You win, by the way.) Were you playing out your own fantasy? Or was it all just a big cosmic accident and you had no idea how he’d catch on – and still be going strong 200 years later?

mr-darcy-wet-shirtListen, Jane, I don’t want to be rude, I’d like to think we’re friends of a sort, but you really ought to lighten up a bit on the ‘perfect man’ thing. (“There’s something pleasant about his mouth when he speaks.” Seriously? We all know what that’s code for.) You couldn’t make him shorter, or a little chubby, maybe with a bald spot and a missing tooth? Or maybe he could be terrified of spiders and snore like Daffy Duck. Something! Give me something to make him just a little less perfect and a little more resistible. I’m begging you!

I hope you’ll take this under advisement.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Adams

Feel free to tell Jane a thing or two in the comments. 😉

18 Responses to A Letter to Jane Austen

  1. Coming into the conversation late. Agree with all you said in the letter. But as I said to my daughter, even at my age I can appreciate the beauty of one of GOD’s creations….in a man like this.

    BTW: I read in an article a while back that men tune out the frequency at which women talk…so they don’t hear us.

    But we can dream on.

  2. LOL. This letter is proof that I’m truly crazy. I first read Pride and Prejudice for a high school class and soon afterwards met my husband, although we didn’t start dating until months later. It didn’t occur to me until a few years later how much he had in common with Darcy. Going on 13 years later and I have to say, my very Darcy-esque man is certainly not entirely perfect. I love him to pieces, I do. He’s perfect for me; but it’s not the accomplished lady that’s a fearsome thing to behold, but rather a man who is equal parts arrogant and sensitive, selfless and loyal and trying to please wife, children, boss, customers, employees and co-workers all at the same time. Sometimes those wires get crossed and he forgets he’s come home or even more often, work intrudes on home life.

    Ah, but he loves me so unreservedly, even when I entirely lose my mind on him and blow up his poor phone at 9 am looking for the darn comb that apparently a child carted off but I was *certain* he misplaced. Hmm…so maybe living with Darcy really is perfect. I’ll confess my particular one has gotten a little rounder in 13 years, his hair is a little thinner (but he’s too tall for anyone to know), and he can blow the house down with his snoring, but then I’m equally imperfect.

  3. Love this letter. Must admit I had to read it to my husband (who is also an Austen fan), and we both had a good chuckle. Thanks for the great post.

  4. I would have to add he is selfless. He solved the Lydia debacle without any expectation of her wanting to even see him again. Indeed, he thought himself undeserving because he felt he had failed. He still has some faults, but they are bearable by any woman who loves him. Yes, I would have to say, darn near perfect!

    Captain Wentworth is not number 2, I believe him Darcy’s equal.

  5. Elizabeth, Thank you. This is adorable. Jane was able to capture my idea of an ideal man. One who tries to listen and understand. I think even if ESPN Sports existed at that time, he would have clicked off the remote and listened to every word Lizzie said. I imagine he might even watch her lips as she spoke, and then gaze into her eyes… I must stop that! 🙂

    • Thanks! I like to think he would turn off the game, too. Or the Discovery Channel documentary for those science-y guys. It’s funny how such a small thing like listening and paying attention can make such a difference in a man’s desirability as a partner. They should get on the ball!

  6. I have to believe that Jane was just like every other woman — she would have given anything to have been loved by a man like Darcy or Wentworth. Since she was not, she created him. For herself and for every woman. Thank you Jane. And thank you Elizabeth for the post! 🙂

  7. Love the letter. I’d tell her she created 2 perfect men, the second being Captain Wentworth….. after all, he did wait 8 and a half years for Anne….and in a sense he did change for her….he came to his senses finally. Your explanation of Darcy to Jane is perfect.

Your thoughts are precious!